Ufff…its hard :(

I had to take one statement from my previous post to begin with. These days i have been in an excited mode for creative ideas especially regularly updating my journal, reading, listening to any few carnatic tracks and drawing too… :p (i know it might seem too much of creativity, but a little of all everyday to keep stress out of my realm). 

But my excitement was put to a sudden break!!! My right hand started getting excruciating pain on its last two fingers. The doc said it could be because of some pressure on my nerves connected to those fingers. My heart and mind filled with creative ideas, my table scattered with wide variety of notebooks, pens, paints etc. But i am helpless. They all are looking at me waiting for me to start. Even after i started getting pain, i neglected it,i continued working on laptop scrolling mouse, did a sketch and continued my daily journal entry. By the time i finished, i knew i am done. The night reminded me of my carelessness, couldn’t find peace with the pain even for a nap.

Its been the third day, my hand with crepe band, painkillers and relief sprays. Sleepless time, can’t even move the fingers. Yet i was crazy enough to do two posts for my blog. Typing with less experienced left hand and tough taming of mouse with the unmovable bandaged palm. Every now and then, i exhale “Ufff”….”Huhh”…..”Oppppss” with the pulsating pain and shivering fingers. The only relief is i can continue with reading my new book “The Girl in the Garden” by  “Kamala Nair“. Diving into the world and thought trails of a girl is reviving the child in me. The landscape of rural areas of Kerala, the livelihood, life styles, traditions and cultures of people give the picturesque of Kerala during the beginning of 90’s.


Now only i realize how much less i have trained my left hand. I was even thinking to be personally okay if this had happened to my left palm instead of right. But whether its left or right hand or any part of the body, even an ant bite will steal our peaceful nights. Wishing that physiotherapy can rectify and put my nerves back to normal. Hoping to survive the pain soon and get back to my usually routine of work, write, read and even planning to start doodling (after all nothing is wrong with trying)! 

remembering World Book Day…


Saturdays usually start with the nurturing of laziness in me. While surfing across i came to know that today is World Book Day (April 22nd). It made me feel search for suitable pics for writing this post. Whenever i get the thought of writing a post, the first thing i do is search for pics. I spent good amount of time especially for illustrative pictures. After i am satisfied with few good pics, then i start writing. These days i have been in an excited mode for creative ideas especially regularly updating my journal, reading, listening to any few carnatic tracks and drawing too… :p (i know it might seem too much of creativity, but a little of all everyday to keep stress out of my realm).


So many electronic sophistication have arrived and everyday some new gadget is coming into our market. In spite of all these i haven’ t felt the decrease in the number of readers. From verbal form to papyrus/paper, to e books and audio books. These changes always inspired people to accept them for the great deal of convenience they offer.Books have made its readers live thousands of life beyond the barriers of civilizations, real-fantasy world and space. We traveled among constellations, with the mythical creatures or warriors.


I have been born in the era where people depended mostly on library for enriching the habit of reading. Routine weekly visit to the library located in the village or library associated with the school or college kept the habit of reading alive at a time when buying books weren’t affordable. I do collect all possible forms of books (pdf, kindle version, illustrated version, audio books) but still prefer to read paper form with an intermittent sniffing of the pages. Most of the books from library owned its own wear and tear from the years of use yet they had lots of stories to share with us.

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In our village library each member can take 3 books. I used to take book in my account, my little sister’s and my uncle’s account. Every weekend i had 9 books with me. I was overwhelmed with joy of holding them. I start reading as soon as reach home. Next target is to finish them before the next Saturday. I travel with them to college and try to read while travelling or break time and even during the exam study days. I didn’t kept any specific criteria for selection of book those days. Just tried to read in English as well as Malayalam mostly novels. When i look back those were the times when i was totally addicted for books. I spent most of my nights with the books. I wasn’t spared from my parents especially mother’s scolding for sleeping less and reading more. Every morning i found my book on the table far away from my hand’s reach kept by mom so that i don’t read as soon as i woke up :p My classmates used to hide my books especially for staying secluded. I had the craziness to read the book “Twilight by Stephanie Meyer” for 21 times during my graduation time. Now it seems damn craziness of the entry time to adulthood. Even now my roomie has lot of patience to spare me for keeping the lights on most of the nights. After many years i read that book two years back just to check whether i was still curious with Edward, Bella & Jacob.Time for fantasy themes isn’t outdated in my mind. It has taken a new form : “Historical Fictions“.All life’s Trilogy” by Deborah Harkness, “The Historian” by Elizabeth Kostova are few among them. 


In these years i have been able to evolve/expand in selecting books or reading criteria. Poetry, Novel, Epic, Historical, Mythology, Travelogue, Essays, Short stories, Memoirs, Children’s classic, Scientific, Cinema, Art etc.  I was able to start having my own personal collection too. Few years back, there was a general thought ” whether the habit of reading is diminishing?” Even i had such doubts. But now i don’t think it  will diminish. It has taken new face and form, yet continuing its mission to share knowledge beyond ages. Never tired of reading…and always ready for a new book…


the longing…

Its hard to overcome the inhibitions of writing. Restarting the habit of writing after a break is really a tough move as far as i am concerned. I have been facing such an inertia during my past two and half months where i haven’t wrote anything for my blog. I felt sorry for myself, holding back the growth of creative side in me. From few days i have been on constant thought of getting back and today i am back. The driving force was in fact instantaneous!


Last week i really enjoyed the pleasure of shopping new books. Hence the thought of new books came from two facts, one: i got my 4 month pending fellowship and the second: i have been feeling a crave for reading something new nostalgic memories/children’s literature in my regional language.  This time when i came to Mumbai, i forgot to get any books and i was deprived of them. This initiated a longing for reading something to satisfy my desire. I ordered for four books after spending more than 2 hours i had to compromise with 4; just 4 😦

After placing the order, starts the unusual pleasure of waiting for the books. Longing for the moment to touch and smell the my new books. I was curious as well as excited. Today i received them. As i was looking at them, i felt i should express the feelings of waiting for them and which made me to get back to my writing. When one of my friend asked why i am not writing anything these days, i had only one answer: my laziness…my inhibition. In between i felt to start with a fictional writing but somehow it didn’t work . Still i hold that thread. May be in another month i will be able to pen it down.

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The first one is a collection of memoirs from the veteran author of this era: Madhavikutty aka Kamala Das. The second one narrates a nostalgic novel with essence of nature. Babu Bharadwaj’s book (3rd one) tells the story of a girl who journals about her dreams/ expectations and thoughts about her life. I started daily journaling recently and chose this novel to be helpful in some way. The last book was selected to nurture the child in me. The author is new to me. It is a translation from English.  No matter how old we become, we all still have a child in us. Whenever i feel lack of interest in reading or tired after reading a heavy book (not by number of pages) i need to buffer my mind. At these times i always go for children’s literature. from past few weeks i haven’t been able to read seriously.  To get back to my reading track i guess i will start with the fourth book.

The first thing I do when I get new book is signing on it with that date of receive.  I put three signs: each one on front page and last page and the third randomly on any middle page. Another thing is smell the book. Each book holds a unique aroma of fresh paper and printing ink. The most memorable aromas of books still belong to my schooldays. At the end of summer holidays, I wait for text books of my new academic year. My memory still holds the beautiful smell of my text books especially till my 10th grade. More than 400 books I own in my personal collection (I know, that count isn’t enough for keeping upright my boastfulness :p). I wasn’t aware of efficient cataloging for my books until recently with the computer software. In the early days I maintained a small diary where I wrote the title and author. It was tedious to shift the each book details to the software. I had managed to finish nearly 75 books in it since the details include author, publication, price, image, language, year, number of pages, genre etc.

Compared to last year i haven’t kept any reading challenges this time since I am getting close to my last round lap of my PhD work. At the same time i can’t think of any of my days completely deprived of reading. No matter how slow i may be or how hectic is my work schedule i still wanna hold on to it. Even in the midst of happiness/ depressions/ loneliness or crowd i am sure about one thing: I CAN’T STOP ADOPTING BOOKS!!!!!!!!!