the longing…

Its hard to overcome the inhibitions of writing. Restarting the habit of writing after a break is really a tough move as far as i am concerned. I have been facing such an inertia during my past two and half months where i haven’t wrote anything for my blog. I felt sorry for myself, holding back the growth of creative side in me. From few days i have been on constant thought of getting back and today i am back. The driving force was in fact instantaneous!


Last week i really enjoyed the pleasure of shopping new books. Hence the thought of new books came from two facts, one: i got my 4 month pending fellowship and the second: i have been feeling a crave for reading something new nostalgic memories/children’s literature in my regional language.  This time when i came to Mumbai, i forgot to get any books and i was deprived of them. This initiated a longing for reading something to satisfy my desire. I ordered for four books after spending more than 2 hours i had to compromise with 4; just 4 😦

After placing the order, starts the unusual pleasure of waiting for the books. Longing for the moment to touch and smell the my new books. I was curious as well as excited. Today i received them. As i was looking at them, i felt i should express the feelings of waiting for them and which made me to get back to my writing. When one of my friend asked why i am not writing anything these days, i had only one answer: my laziness…my inhibition. In between i felt to start with a fictional writing but somehow it didn’t work . Still i hold that thread. May be in another month i will be able to pen it down.

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The first one is a collection of memoirs from the veteran author of this era: Madhavikutty aka Kamala Das. The second one narrates a nostalgic novel with essence of nature. Babu Bharadwaj’s book (3rd one) tells the story of a girl who journals about her dreams/ expectations and thoughts about her life. I started daily journaling recently and chose this novel to be helpful in some way. The last book was selected to nurture the child in me. The author is new to me. It is a translation from English.  No matter how old we become, we all still have a child in us. Whenever i feel lack of interest in reading or tired after reading a heavy book (not by number of pages) i need to buffer my mind. At these times i always go for children’s literature. from past few weeks i haven’t been able to read seriously.  To get back to my reading track i guess i will start with the fourth book.

The first thing I do when I get new book is signing on it with that date of receive.  I put three signs: each one on front page and last page and the third randomly on any middle page. Another thing is smell the book. Each book holds a unique aroma of fresh paper and printing ink. The most memorable aromas of books still belong to my schooldays. At the end of summer holidays, I wait for text books of my new academic year. My memory still holds the beautiful smell of my text books especially till my 10th grade. More than 400 books I own in my personal collection (I know, that count isn’t enough for keeping upright my boastfulness :p). I wasn’t aware of efficient cataloging for my books until recently with the computer software. In the early days I maintained a small diary where I wrote the title and author. It was tedious to shift the each book details to the software. I had managed to finish nearly 75 books in it since the details include author, publication, price, image, language, year, number of pages, genre etc.

Compared to last year i haven’t kept any reading challenges this time since I am getting close to my last round lap of my PhD work. At the same time i can’t think of any of my days completely deprived of reading. No matter how slow i may be or how hectic is my work schedule i still wanna hold on to it. Even in the midst of happiness/ depressions/ loneliness or crowd i am sure about one thing: I CAN’T STOP ADOPTING BOOKS!!!!!!!!!







16 thoughts on “the longing…”

  1. I do not seeing anything new. so i am reading your old post. I can feel as you said about the Smell of the book. I remember when i got the book Other Colours by Orhan Pamuk. it has same the smell now but the intensity is less. I think You can refer to The novel Cure by Ella Berthound and Susan Elderkin. It describe the different emotions create a book in our life. I would like to check your collection of or at least see the list. …..Enjoy your reading….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. i wanted to write…but hectic working schedule at lab is keeping me away from blog 😦 😦 😦 I will surely check on the books u mentioned. Currently somehow managing to read Anita Nair’s ALPHABET SOUP FOR LOVERS ( kindle version). i have mainly malayalam books in my collection. In English, i have started from classics of Dickens, Hardy, Austen, Coehlo etc 🙂

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      1. cehlo biography is very interesting,,, books somehow not impressing me much. because you love about writing and writers, other colours you may enjoy. Good that you are busy, and have no time…. it is blessing, i am experimenting with boredom. Classic is always better. That is best way to deepen your literary knowledge. enjoy your busy life. cheers….

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      2. 🙂 i am kept so busy with PhD work that i literally lose my relay sometimes….doing phd in marine biology (lab work) is damn damn hectic. i read every free time i am getting so that i can keep my self balanced 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Ouch…lots of similarities…ordering and buying books, sign with date and of course relishing the smell…pakshe software il aakkiyittilla…athu cheyyanam… Oro transfer kazhinjum unpack cheyyumbo I love the book arrangement part. … Nice post, ma’am scholar

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  3. ” when I get new book is signing on it with that date of receive” same here.
    “maintained a small diary where I wrote the title and author” same here. But, not changed to software. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 😀 i still need to do a proper cataloging, now a days there are phone app for saving the books. i downloaded one recently, didnt start using it yet (its still a tedious job to scan ISBN code, pics of front and back cover, manual addition of author and other details)

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