first love: part 4


Read the previous chapter  12  & 3
New city, new air, new targets!!! I was trying to forget what i left behind in my country. It wasn’t easy but being involved with work kept me away from his thoughts. I kept in contact with him through emails and few phone calls. We both made sure that we avoided any talk about the intense pain of staying away. Kept conversation stick on to profession, new travel destinations, cuisines etc. The warm people at my new office made me feel to be one among them. We went on weekend parties, trekking. I could find some peaceful lonely trips to near by museums, restaurants  and book shops too. Time flied very fast and i failed to talk to him after half of the year while i got his emails every fortnightly.
270d37518889c92a2c5c7c818d9e5d95One day things turned upside down and when i went back to my room i came across the diary which he gifted me. It was time to start writing down and fill it with my emotions for him and may be one day i can show him what i felt for me. Everyday i found some quiet time to be with the diary and sometimes i spent hours with it. It evolved the creative side of my soul too… I kept sticking all the tiny bills, wrappers, cute paper cuttings etc to it. I kept adding every tiny bit of memory i held for him as well as what i found in this unknown city.
I had initial confusions about how to address him in this diary. After many options, i finally wrote down addressing a diary to him as ” MY DEAR FIRST LOVE”! 
Ahhh…that seems perfect. Once started i couldn’t stop myself from the expression my thoughts. I was more comfortable this way than talking to him over phone. I didn’t keep any mask when i wrote.
3e3147baa82d3aea00a87a5b34b22f01It wasn’t easy certain times to keep writing and hence i pushed myself to continue the habit. It was almost ten and half months for me to be a part of this place. I will be back in my country after two more months. It was time for me to send this diary with all my thoughts i went through past 10 and half months. The dairy had blank pages for the next two months yet i thought its time for me to send this to him.

walked towards his office desk and he could notice an unusual packet on his table. It was heavy and thick. He could find his gifted diary in the envelope. He was curious at the same time a smile came over his lips. Oh…My…GOD….she just sent me her diary 🙂 With a steaming cup of coffee he sat with it. Overall it seemed beautiful written with unusual journal doodlings, stickers and many tiny things. He postponed all his meetings and targets. For him, anything related to her seemed to be of highest priority. He couldn’t help it since he was in LOVE with her 🙂

  (Haha…she still calls me to be her first love :p )
I am sorry for not responding to your emails and messages. I needed some quiet time with myself. I know i hurt you by staying silent. Hence i thought i should better write down all my thoughts about you as well as what all go through my mind in this diary which you have given me! 
First, lemme make one revelation to you. Do you remember, before leaving the country i was not found for two days? I didn’t even respond to your calls or messages.I told you that i went out of station for work. I was out off station but not related to work. I went back to our home town. I had a quick trip to refurnish my memory and on the way i went to see your old home. I have special feelings of respect for it since it held most of your childhood memories. I am related to those memories of yours. I couldn’t ever walk across you home without faster heartbeats and flickering eyes searching for one glimpse of you.  I spent sometime through the place. It seems that the happy spirit of the house is long lost as soon as your family moved out of the house. It can no longer be called “HOME”. It seemed to be an abandoned building where non-domestic flora & fauna existed at their free will… The fruit trees like guava, gooseberry, jack fruit, mulberry, mango tree all grown wild due to lack of pruning. The creeping tendrils of passion fruit didn’t leave any free space over the roof top. Cold wind gushed into my nostrils and in a long time i haven’t seen any greener place than this with lots of birds, crickets, butterflies etc.  

I could find the caretaker on the nearby rest house. He could spread some light over my curiosity over the long lost happy home. I stayed to be a good listener and he was enthusiastic in explaining. He seemed to be sad for the fall of majestic family. He lead me around the house, farm house and made tea for me and my driver at his small cottage.  I gave a good tip for him and said to take care of it till the owner comes back. I believe that you will come back to this house one day even though your arrival is in uncertainty. He kept waving his hands with a gratitude for his tip while i set back in car.
One thought haunted me on my way back: I was supposed to be a part of this house…. if destiny hadn’t played between US!!!

To be continued….
{I know that i merely killed the enthusiasm of the readers. Sorry for the delayed posting of part 4 since creative part of my brain asked for a rebooting 😉 🙂 }


About elaine ecosmith

Dreaming to be a marine conservation biologist. Hold passion for books and to write on random sparks which could result in essay, poetry or fiction. Love movies and music. I believe in finding peace with oneself and always have gratitude for all what you have got 😊☺️

19 responses to “first love: part 4

  1. hello.. evidarnnu kure nalayittu..?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: first love: part 5 | firespirit

  3. oh so thisis part 4.. i should find the beginning of all these. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: first love: part 6 | firespirit

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